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Alcohol has always played a major role in my culture and social life. I remember the first time I ever fully drank, and got drunk.. I was fifteen years old. Off and on in my late teens and going into my twenties drinking wasn’t more than just a fun thing that I enjoyed while at a party or hanging out with friends. It wasn’t until I turned 21, and was able to buy my own alcohol, that my relationship with booze began to get a little bit more serious. I wouldn’t say that I grew to the status of needing to recognize myself as an alcoholic, but the fact that I was habitually drinking on a daily basis (even if it was just one or two glasses of wine) really began to affect me personally and became of the main obstacles on my health journey.
For a long time I could not commit to not drinking, and when I turned twenty-one I think I have only been able to pull off a “sober month” once. Other than that, it would only be a few days between drinks. Deep down I knew that if I wanted to get healthy, clear up my skin, lose the weight…. I would have to take more drastic measures. Also, I didn’t want to become someone who “couldn’t say no” to a drink and fall under the pressure. My anxiety was getting worse, my sleep routine was awful, and I was experiencing chronic headaches that wouldn’t go away.
I tried blaming the reason for all of these symptoms on everything but alcohol. I told myself “you’re fine, you can still enjoy a glass of wine at the end of each day and still get healthy”. Maybe I could have, but alcohol became a trigger and a gateway to falling back into old unhealthy habits. I’ve always been sober curious, but at this moment I don’t really see it as something I fully want to dive into. So I went somewhere in the middle. Today, I find myself enjoying a drink or two no more than 1-2 times per week. Without even trying!
This all fell into place once I began making serious changes in my lifestyle back in May/June 2020. When I committed to my daily walks/hikes; it just wasn’t worth jeopardizing my sleep or how I would feel in the morning just because I wanted (or needed) that glass of wine after my son went down for the night. When I began drinking celery juice every morning, my desire to drink became even less. My morning routine became more important to me than the momentary satisfaction that came from alcohol.
I’m not sober, and I am not intentionally trying to quit drinking all together either. I understand that alcohol isn’t exactly the most appropriate example for a supremely healthy lifestyle, but I do believe one can occasionally enjoy a social drink with family and friends or at the end of a quiet evening. What has been more important to me is to be rid of habitually drinking on a daily basis. One thing I am excited about is coming up with very clean, organic, cocktail recipes in the future and opting for non-toxic wine brands, such as the ones I have tried from Scout & Cellar. It’s all about balance, but also recognizing what changes need to be made when you need to. For now, my focus is on my health journey. Getting myself back on track, loving my body again and taking care of my mental health. This is my relationship with alcohol, it’s my experience, and I feel really good about the path I am currently on.